If I go missing, check the stairs for evidence

My law school isn't that big, so I usually try to take the stairs. I'd like to claim that it's because I'm oh-so healthy and seek opportunities for exercise everywhere I go, but it really has much more to do with my impatience for the elevators and my hatred of being crammed in like a sardine. The stairs are usually nice and isolated, which is usually a welcome thing. I suppose I can't blame most people for avoiding the stairs - they are a little creepy. They have this unnatural florescent glow bouncing around the dank cinder blocks, and there seems to be no rhyme or reason as to the distance between the floors, which combined with the way the stairs sort of zig and zag around can be a little disconcerting. You just go up flight after flight, hoping a doorway will appear and allow you to escape. But when its just me and my nice quiet stairs that doesn't really bother me.

You see, in addition to all of the stairwells other charms, it also has a horrible echo. So whenever another student starts to clomp down the stairs at a brisk pace, I hear this ominous sound of footsteps racing down the stairs, just seconds away from overtaking me.I know rationally its just another student in a bit of a hurry. But to me it sounds like a serial killer is right behind me and if I do not book it I will meet a horrific demise involving chainsaws and other very bad, no good things.


On the plus side, every time that happens I'm glad that I haven't joined the stilleto crowd yet, as everyone knows what happens to women in high heels in horror movie scenerios. And I'm sure the extra sprinting is good for me. I'm just a little scared that on a particularly stressful day that extra bit of terror may push me over the edge. that or I'll develop a sense of complacancy, and thats when it will all go down. Come to think of it, I'm somewhat surprised that more law students don't snap into scary bad criminals. You get this many type A, overstressed people in a constant state of high pressure and then teach them all the ins and outs of the criminal justice system, and well, thats just a breeding ground for an American psycho scenerio. Just like PhD programs breed super villains. Maybe I should just take the elevator.

Leaves that are green

I woke up in my usual morning haze, stumbled through my morning routine and sloughed out to the bus stop. As is usual I had my ipod shuffling away, but not really paying attention. Then, "The Leaves that are Green" by Simon and Garfunkel came up. A pretty song, but nothing I've really though much of. As it played a gentle wind started up, and I found myself surrounded by a soft shower of autumn leaves drifting away from the trees. I just listened, really listened, and watched and just was. For a brief moment I felt the song and just floated away on its harmonies and the soft wind.

It's cheesy I know, but sometimes it feels like little almost transcendent moments like these are what make things ok, just for a little bit.

In which I complain about school and eventually accept my fate

I know that its inevitable, but I'm always surprised when this part of the Semester hits. After just settling into a nice rhythm of classes, homework and life, its time to start outlining and otherwise preparing to spend 4 hours locked in room to regurgitate knowledge onto a blue book and pray that your managing to hit everything on the professors list. Additionally, I'm now starting to feel the pressure for finding summer work, which as a mediocre student not involved in any extracurricular activities to distinguish myself from the hordes of other students trying to find something in this economy is no easy feat. Registration is also happening now, which means hours of trying to come up with a conflict free class schedule that will be manageable, not mind numbingly dull and maybe even useful for my future career. I should also figure out what I would like my career to be.

Oh well, I really don't have time for my semesterly existential crisis. I have studying to do. Maybe some sleep if I'm really lucky. Joy.

Cannibalism is fiscally responsible, but creepy

Question - How much do normal people spend on food? Because for the first time I'm seeing how much we spend, and holy cow.

For most of our (admittedly short) married life, Zach and I just never bothered to do any sort of finance merging. We each had our own bank accounts and debit cards and what not. We still though of all of that money as collectively ours, so it wasn't really a big deal who paid for what, we just had no way of really keeping track of what the other person was doing. Overall it worked fine (ignorance is bliss). Sure, we would occasionally come this close to missing the rent deadline because we each thought the other person had taken care of it. We're responsible like that. But hey, everything always got taken care of, so I just assumed that the system worked.

Recently we decided to get a joint Costco American Express card, mostly because we were seduced by the grand promises of 1% cash back, but also because we figured it would just be less hassle and good for budgeting and unity and it just seems like one of those things married people do. We're still not sure how this whole married grownups thing is supposed to work, so we largely just try to copy others who seem like they have things figured out. It seems like a sound strategy.

Anyways. So we now have a joint card and can actually see what each of us is spending. Aside from severly cutting down on my internet purchasing (when Zach would ask how much my pretty new things cost, I was in the habit of going on about how they were marked down x%, and I got such a good deal, and never actually say how much they cost. That is less effective now that he can actually look at the card statement.)  this also has the nasty side effect of being able to actually see how much we spend on food and other so-called essentials. I knew we spent a decent amount, but since I only saw what went on my card, it didn't seem to outrageous. I think I had managed to convince myself that I paid for things much more often than I actually did. 

Because I was looking at the balance today and I just can't figure out how we spent over $500 on groceries in the past month. I suppose we did eat out once or twice, but no place expensive. And that does include a big Costco trip, and some prescriptions, and we've run out of a few more things that usual this past month. But still. Is this normal? We are in DC, which is expensive. And we do like to eat things like fruits and other fresh, expensive things. And Whole Foods is much closer than other grocery stores, and so much nicer...I know its more expensive but I had no idea it was this much. I don't feel like we eat anything amazing. Lots of potato based dishes and rice and beans and the like. Not really much meat, just chicken breasts from Costco and some sausage from time to time. What are we doing wrong? This just doesn't seem right!

Inconceivable

When I was at BYU one of my favorite professors was Dr. Christensen.* The first class I took from him was this awesome freshman seminar on Comparative politics, where are only assignment was to read the Economist, and class consisted of solely of us asking him whatever questions we wanted. Needless to say, this guy is crazy smart. The second class was a giant monstrosity of class on political science research and writing. Incredibly dull. Or at least it would have been if Christensen didn't have a near endless supply of hilarious stories.** Things like how on his honeymoon, his wife told him "Dear, it would be better if you stopped giggling" and other fun little tidbits. Add that to endless supply of witty comments, sarcasm and other such awesomeness and Christensen made that class slightly more than bearable. However, when he got excited, which was frequent, he would start to talk in a really fast, high pitched voice. Combine that with the fact that he was a little on the shorter side of things, and well there was more than a passing resemblance to this guy:

So, when he passed out cards asking for our comments on his teaching in the middle of the semester, under the section asking for things that we thought he could improve upon, I noted that I would appreciate it if he would say inconceivable more frequently.

The next week at the end of class he started to discuss the comments he had received. Including how he was so offended that someone would compare him to the Princess Bride guy, how that was a bad person, and not flattering, and so on and so forth. I'm pretty sure he was looking at me the whole time he was speaking. I felt about two inches tall, and was convinced he knew that I was the one who had written that comment. But you guys? During that whole tirade he starte dto get excited, and speaking all fast and high pitched like. Towards the end he said that the comment was just inconceivable to him. He sounded just like Vizzini, and I felt justified. It was a good day.




*At one point he said that I was just like him, only liberal, young and female. So my liking him so much may have just been a case of supreme narcissism.

**Also at one point he called on my as I was dozing off. I had no idea what the question he had asked me was, let alone the answer. being a Church school I made a wild guess and said Jesus. I still have no idea what that class was about, but that was somehow the right answer. This has nothing to do with anything - I just like this story.

Exigent Circumstances

One of the best/worst things about taking Criminal Procedure is my new found tendency to exuberantly comment on the legality of actions taken by law enforcement on what are supposed to be fun, semi-mindless procedurals. But, while sometimes the gross disregard for silly things like laws on these shows can drive me batty, (no, you can't just walk into someones home with out a warrant just because the door was unlocked. Bright line people, bright line!) everynow and again there are some fun moments, that seem realistic enough for me to justify watching tv insetad of studying.



I really hope exigent circumstances isn't anything more complicated than what the nice lady in the above clip explains it as, because I kind of spent my free time watching television cotton candy instead of doing a careful, in depth reading out of my case book. I suppose I'll just wait and see what happens when I'm probably cold called today in class - Professor Jones is eaither crazy observant, or has some sort of mystic powers, whereby she can sense the unprepared, the day dreaming, or the actually blogging instead of taking notes. Wish me luck.

A Healthy Dose of Feminist Reading

I probably spend more time than is entirely healthy on the internet - a decent portion of which is spent on blogs. This can lead to all sorts of side effects. I can keep up with the lives of old friends and peek into the lives of complete strangers in a somewhat voyeuristic fashion. I see people posting pictures and descriptions of new shoes and other goodies that I want and have to talk myself out of overextending my budget to snatch up - not to mention learning how to control envy and be happy with how much I really do have. And on the political side of my internet meanderings I can become better informed - learning new facts and pondering new perspectives. Or I can just get really pissed off.

I could rant and rave on all sorts of issues raised by articles like those below; and someday when I feel like I have something original, insightful or at least coherent to say I probably will. For now I'll just say that I wish people could just treat people like people. Not sex objects, or any other kind of object. Not bags of cash. Not impersonal stereotypes. Not obstacles in the way of what we really want and really value. Just people.

In that light if you're in the mood for some feminist type thoughts (and more than a little ire) here are a few things that have caught my eye lately.

The Fourth Wave: Motherhood Feminism - The next phase for feminism is truly respecting and supporting motherhood. We've gotten better at (some) forms of gender equality, especially in the workplace, but this equality shatters as soon as motherhood is factored in. The #1 risk factor for poverty is motherhood. We need to fix this - or at least start talking about it.

Let's hear it for the boys and The standards for fathers - And speaking of motherhood, we've got to talk about fatherhood. I love all the examples in the first post and subsequent comments about the huge value of and service offered by so many men. And as for the second, I love seeing how much how we think about fathers and families is changing. I think one of the best things to come from feminism is the freedom given to men to engage more fully in some of the wonderful things that men of old have missed out on just because they were thought of as exclusively feminine. Families are wonderful, and the more all people, men and women, are able to really fully engage in all of that, the better things will be for everyone.

The Obama's Marriage - Speaking of families, here's a piece on how one very driven, very modern, but still very family focused couple has tried to make things work.

The Women's Crusade - I've heard a lot of wonderful things recently about how essential supporting women in developing nations is to bringing them out of crushing poverty. This article excelently outlines how simple and how essential supporting women is to supporting the world. But on the flip side, I share this article's concerns about treating the empowerment of women as a means to an end, rather than a worthwhile end in and of itself.

Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced - a practical look at some simple things that good guys can and should do to take rape culture down a peg or two (because really, rape prevention isn't about self defense classes for women - it's changing how we think about rape and people choosing not to rape or support rape)

Have you tried not being so sexy? - A sort of companion piece to Schrödinger's Rapist and a brief look at how we treat women as presumably available objects (some language that may offend people who aren't me)

And if your looking for something a little more entertaining but still with a bit of a thoughtful feminist flavor, may I recommend checking out Dollhouse? I'm a huge Joss Whedon geek fan, which would be enough for me to fall in love with this show. But the more I watch it, and the more the show has gotten into the swing of things, the more I find myself falling head over heels for the way this show deals with humanity, consumerism, objectification and all sorts of other things that shape our society (and that I am now convinced will lead to a horrifying dystopian future). Some of the most recent episodes are on hulu - although being a Joss Whedon show, knowing the mythology and everything else set forth in earlier episodes is probably helpful, so go wander over to SurftheChannel or someplace like that and enjoy your weekend.

In the spirit of recipricioty I'm always looking for new things to read and obsess over, so any suggestions or thoughts or anything really is always appreciated.

Fall Desserts

I keep seeing all these bloggers posting about all the scrumptious fall delights they've been baking up.

My celebration of fall has consisted of blowing through a box of pumpkin donut holes picked up from the bakery section of the local giant which definitely has nothing resembling a bakery on the premises. Although even calling those clazed morsels pumpkin is a bit of a stretch, since the closest thing to pumpkin they contain is the seventh ingredient, something called "pumpkin flakes," which doesn't seem all that closely related to any sort of real squash. They sort of tasted like sawdust. I loved every bite.

Matilda, you hurt me so

When I am in a procrastination lets-dream-about-the future kind of mood, one of my favorite things to do is look at houses online. Ever since I was a little kid I've loved houses; I would draw up my own design plans, go to home shows, and page through design and architecture books. I still waste way to much time drooling over design blogs, wishing and hoping. But hey, I accept that I'm in law school right now, and in a fit of craziness have located myself on the opposite coast from my beloved Oregon. So buying a house just isn't anywhere close to reality right now.

But every now and again I come across a house that just breaks my heart. This house is one of those. I named her Matilda - she's just a tad old fashioned and quirky but all she needs is a little love to shine. She's all I could ever want in a house, with her big open porch, retro stylings, and forested backyard. Sure the place could use a little help to recover from some poor choices in its past, but ist nothing we couldn't work out together. And the part that just twists a knife around in my stomach? The monthly payments for this beauty are just about how much we pay in rent for our shoebox studio. This lawschool thing so better be worth all this.

I hope the squirrels believe in universal heath care

As I was waiting for the bus this morning I watched two squirrels play some weird hybrid of tag and hide and go seek. They would chase each other around the tree in a flurry of squirrel excitement. And then one of them would just freeze like a rock. And the other one would kind of freeze to, and then slowly poke its head around the tree, like its trying to sneak up on the other squirrel, and just as its about to catch site of the other one - BAM, they're off again. I could not stop laughing - and when I'm still not quite awake, that is a decent feat. Also, have you ever paid attention to a squirrel running? They do this great bounding leap thing, sort of like an elegant gazelle bounding across the Savannah - only it looks kind of ridiculous because its a little squirrel running for no apparent reason across the lawn in front of my apartment building. It's a great way to start the morning.

Of course, despite their adorableness, squirrels have a well known nefarious side. When I was in high school the teenage boys in my ward (congregation) had some horrible luck with squirrel related attacks on camping trips. For example, one guy was sleeping in a mummy bag - which as many of you may know leaves you pretty much stuck in a really tight bag, with just your face sticking out - so when a squirrel decides to hop onto your face and maul you with its little squirrel claws, there really isn't much you can do besides scream. Most other reported squirrel attacks were fairly minor, just squirrels throwing things, or taking things, or staring menacingly. And honestly, I'm not entirely sure that any of these supposed events are actually 100% accurate - but that's not particularly important. What is important is that the youth in the ward developed some grand mythology of squirrels as conspiratorial masterminds, bent on world domination. A squirrel dashing away would be a spy reporting to the master group. Buried nuts were really secret communication devices. Forest fires are caused by intersquirrel conflict, as the various factions vied for control in a horrifyingly vicious serious of coups. Little things like that. For a group of teenagers, this was a high form of amusement.

Despite their possible nefarious plans, or possibly because of them, squirrels always make me smile. Also if they ever succeed, I think they would be benevolent overlords.